Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Time Warp

The last two weeks have been amazing. Tiger coming back into my life has been the breath of fresh air my life needed. We spent last Saturday with her parents and my Aunt and Uncle welcomed me back as if I'd never been gone.

They don't live where we moved here from, but going to see them still requires a 2 hour drive and usually a whole weekend away from home, so we have decided when Draco's job here runs out at the end of the year, we're relocating to where they live. We'll be close to my family and closer to our girls, Witchlet and Chicklet.

Yesterday, we finally figured out what the hold-up on our State Refund was and got that sorted out, so we should be getting that soon. I realized though, that the time for making decisions is upon me.

I had already been struggling with trying to fit everything I wanted to do in a day, and with the tax check will come internet and WoW plus the means to put some money into getting my business back up and running. I had to look at my responsibilities and desires realistically and admit to myself that if I tried to do everything I want to do, I'm going to be more overwhelmed than I already am.

That means that I had to prioritize things and decide what was going to have to either be let go or put on a back burner.

Draco, our spiritual practices, and my home has to be my main priority. I'm already struggling trying to balance weekdays here and weekends at Tiger's.

My family is time-consuming. There's almost always something going on with them and family is more important to Draco and I than anything else besides each other. We already don't see the girls often enough and I don't want the same thing to happen with Tiger and my family there. Plus, I have a little sister (Teddy Bear's bio daughter) that I don't really know and I'd really like to change that.

Right behind home and family comes Dragon's Lair Crafts because that brings me much joy as well as helps pay the bills when the business is up and running. Getting it off the ground will be very time-consuming, but very worth the effort.

Then, of course, there's WoW, which Tiger and Bear also play and we're looking forward to playing together again like we used to. It's a very social game and it'll be a way for Tiger and I to spend time together in the evenings while we're not seeing each other during the week.

The last things is my blog. While I do enjoy having one, and writing, I know that I've already been struggling. I write a lot, but finish, and publish, little. Getting the blog off the ground would be time-consuming and leave me little time for anything else. While I enjoy blogging, it was mostly a social outlet for a lonely woman with a social anxiety disorder and no family, friends, or life in the real world. As I sit here writing now, I've got a million other things in my real life that I should be doing instead including filling orders from the weekend, cleaning the house and getting ready to go do the shopping that's been put off since Friday.

I tried to blog yesterday and ended up in tears over the subject matter, which landed me in bed for a few hours trying to get myself together. I never did the shopping, we had subs for dinner and the house was a wreck. This morning, I realized I'd forgotten to make Draco's tea for work and I'd failed to bake the cake I'd promised him. I just can't let that happen.

As much as I enjoy blogging sometimes, I've got to reduce my load somewhere and the first thing to go will be this blog.

I'm not going to delete it and I won't say I'll never post anything again, but considering there's really no one reading it but me (and maybe Tiger), I see no point in keeping it a priority when I can just wrire in my journal and not have to feel guilty when I don't have time to write topic-appropriate material or visit other blogs regularly.

I've been a blogger for over 3 years now, hiding behind a computer screen because I had no life outside the walls of my home. Now, I'm determined to work on over-coming that.

I wish you all the best.

Love and light from The Dragon's Lair,

Drakina Moon